Tag: love

  • The Girl on the Old Wall

    I turn the pages of my memory
    like a flip book in reverse;
    each frame a butterfly’s flutter,
    each moment, a folk tale’s verse.

    I go back, and further back,
    I dig a little deep-
    snowfall, deodars, mountains, school time,
    a little girl with promises to keep.

    And so here I am,
    five years small.
    There’s a nip in the valley air,
    but I don’t feel it at all.

    I don’t see the puddles and stones,
    nor the swaying trees so tall.
    I see my home at the end of the road
    and, my little sister perched on the old wall.

    For I have already started school,
    she’s still too young to attend;
    so she patiently waits, elbows on knees,
    lost in plans, playing pretend.

    From far away I see her eyes;
    dull one moment, then sudden spark and shine!
    She’s seen me! And in that look,
    the whole world becomes just mine.

    She walks toward me and so do I;
    midway we meet, our laughter grows.
    I plant my pink-strapped bottle on her neck-
    a childhood joke, a ritual no one knows.

    Our fingers slip into each other’s hand,
    like a dance well-rehearsed.
    Side by side we hop back home,
    small feet, big dreams, hearts fit to burst.

    Yes, we long for that home we lost,
    But look, my dear, just see where we are!
    Those dreams, those days
    they still give us wings.
    together we’ll fly some more-
    now that we’ve made it so far.

  • Love is but a Circus

    That night.
    That night .
    We lay under the starlight,
    watching the circus of the sky-
    of stars and velvet clouds
    rising like a curtain,
    to the drumbeat of our hearts.

    Lovelorn fingers
    touched ever so slightly,
    a dance through the grass and dew,
    like whispers in a sleeping forest.

    We took the sky
    and tore it down the middle-
    half for you, and half for me.
    The sky, a fabric.
    The sequined stars obeyed
    the rhythm of love and longing.
    Amused, they twinkled, danced, disappeared-
    like acrobats,
    reappearing on another side on command.
    Like a deck of cards in a juggler’s hand,
    they shifted, shuffled,
    became new constellations,
    new galaxies-
    like a snow globe shaken by dreams.
    We saw the universe shifting.

    For love is like that-
    a magician’s hat
    pulling out things that never existed.

    Only the moon-
    ah, the moon-
    stood at the edge,
    watching us with her slanted gaze.
    She was the ringmaster,
    the keeper of truths,
    the witness of secrets.

    She would not split herself-
    not for our foolish hearts,
    not even for her faithful night,
    scented dark and wild by our passion.

    No , said the moon.
    I have seen love.
    I have seen love.
    I’ve seen it clothed in finery and silk,
    only to dissolve into smoke.
    I’ve seen it carved into soft monuments,
    only to be paid for by the severing of hands.
    I’ve heard the quiet cracking of hearts,
    and the thundering betrayal of romance.

    So I will not bend.
    Not divide.
    Not even for your stitched-together dreams.

    Yet still-
    she tilted.
    She moved just enough,
    to let a sliver of light fall on us,
    like a whisper,
    like hope spilling from her craters.

    For even ancient eyes
    can still believe in new beginnings.
    But they do not-
    they cannot
    forget the endings.

    Bhavna
    9 June 2025

  • । हम दोनों ।

    । हम दोनों ।

    धूल चढ़ी डायरी के पिछले पन्ने
    में सिमटा हुआ मिला एक फूल।
    जिसकी अब खुशबू जुदा है,
    रंग भी मायूस सा है,
    पर उसे देखते ही,
    मेरे चेहरे पे झट से यूं आती है जो सुर्खी।
    कि याद आती है
    वो झुकी आंखों की कुछ बातें,
    न कटने वाली स्याह, लंबी रातें।
    वो बिन मतलब मुस्कुराना,
    और बातों बातों में, खामोश हो जाना।

    अब जिंदगी में कुछ ऐसे मसाइल है
    जिनकी पेचीदगी को सुलझाने में,
    अकेले पड़ गए दोनों।
    मुलाकातों में भर गई तन्हाईयां
    वो दिन कहाँ अब याद आते हैं।

    क्यों ना हम तुम इन्हीं रिश्तों के सहरा में,
    वो डायरी के फूल
    ज़मीं में बो दे साथ मिल के।
    जिन्हें छूने भर से ही
    मेरे गालों में हो सुर्खी,
    और तुम्हारी आंखों में भी,
    फिर वही शरारत सी आ जाए।

    । भावना ।
    4 Dec 2024

  • Marriage Chronicles

    It hits me every now and then—it’s been ages since I’ve written anything. I get inspired, scramble for a pen, and by the time I find one, I’ve forgotten whatever brilliant thought I had. So here I am, finally trying to capture my profound thoughts on marriage.

    My wedding twenty five years ago was totally the antithesis of what I thought weddings should be like. Having freshly enrolled myself in the Hum Aapke Hain Kaun school of lavish and fun weddings, I was dejected when in my own wedding, instead of naach gaana, I was managing the tent-walla, the staying arrangements for a myriad of relatives in our two-room flat, even picking up of clothes from presswali didi…basically, the working-class host. But love was in the air…. I was getting married after a whirlwind, short courtship to whom my parents’ thought was a match made in heaven—a good looking, bright, young engineer from the same community, stable job, own home, respectable family—an immigrant family’s dream come true! As for me, I couldn’t wait to get married and find out what all the fuss was about.

    At the wedding, I continued to be treated as the lowest one in the hosting party’s pecking order. Not that it affected me. I spent the entire day thinking, “This is it—this is my D-day!” (I’m still unsure what the “D” stands for, but let’s roll with it.) In my mind, I was the most important person in the room. Spoiler: Nobody else thought so. People were obsessed about their own outfits. My friends had spent hours deliberating their makeup details. Old friends were bumping into each other after ages. Guests were catching the attention of photographers and videographers. Kids were gulping down fizzy drinks on dares. Nobody was really here to notice the bride. Fair, I guess.

    Then came the honeymoon—finally, romance was in the air. Picture it: the promise of sun, sand, and sea, as my husband sat next to me on the plane. We had pooled in all our savings and decided to go to Phuket—the Indian newlyweds’ McDonald’s as destinations go! It was foreign, exotic, and more importantly, within our budget.

    As my husband gazed out of the plane window over a setting sun, holding my hand, everything felt surreal—I was finally in the movie, and not a Barjatiya movie, I was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Then, my Richard Gere turned towards me, oh that mysterious smile I’ve come to know all too well.

    He said, “I still wonder…”

    I hastily added, “Me too!”

    “…how planes fly!”

    And there you have it. That’s our marriage in a nutshell. In our silver jubilee year, we are still figuring out how things work.

  • I भूली यादें I

    युग बदल गये,
    दिन बीत गये।
    क्यों तुम्हे आना था जीवन में?

    मन की मनुहार, वह करुण पुकार,
    धूमिल मधुर पीड़ा की अनुभूति है।
    अब जीवन की किलकारी में,
    मेरी आंगन की क्यारी में,
    कितने सुन्दर है फूल खिले
    कितने गीतों के तार सजे।
    नूतन प्रसंग हम छेड़ चले,
    नई भावना सब देख रहे।

    मेरी इस सहज सी आत्मकथा में,
    तेरा क्या व्यर्थ काम प्रिये?
    तुम अपरिचित हो, तुम दूर रहो।
    अब मुझको न भाए आवेश,
    तृष्णा का मन में स्थान नहीं।
    ना उलझाओ मुझको भ्रम में,
    पहले वाला अब रोष नहीं।
    विद्रोह नहीं, वो जोश नहीं।
    एक विचित्र रस है इस जीवन में।
    एक विचित्र रस है,
    संतुलन में।

    । भावना ।
    8 Dec 2024

  • । ख्वाबों के टुकड़े ।

    आज सुबह फिर दो चार मिले,
    मेरे ख्वाबों के टुकड़े बार बार मिले।

    सालों से अपने दिल की तंग गलियां मायूस है,
    पर चमकते हुए शहर वालों की तरफ सब यार चले।

    सुना है इस शहर में जो दिखता है वो बिकता है,
    हम भी दिल खोल कर बैठे है,
    आज अपना भी कारोबार चले।

    अपनी दिल्ली की आब ओ हवा क्या कहिए या रब,
    यह बद मिज़ाज सी कोहरे की चादर;
    और तेरे कूचे में गुलज़ार खिले।

    दर ओ दीवार जलते थे रात भर,
    अंगारे अभी सुलगते होंगे।
    छांटेंगे हम इत्मीना से,
    शायद वो खोया हुआ करार मिले।

    आज सुबह फिर दो चार मिले,
    मेरे ख्वाबों के टुकड़े बार बार मिले।

    भावना
    22-11-2024

  • The Forgotten Tiffin

    I remember feeling utterly embarrassed when Daddy came to my college, standing outside my classroom with my forgotten tiffin in hand. For an eighteen-year-old, it was awkward beyond measure to have the teacher pause the lecture and ask, “Whose parent is that?” only to add, “Bhavna forgot her tiffin yet again!” But for Daddy, retired and always seeking purpose, it was the highlight of his day.

    My absent-mindedness suddenly infused his day with excitement. At home, the usual chaos would ensue. Badi Mummy would mutter and fuss as she packed the tiffin in layers of plastic bags, knotting them tighter with each hurried movement. Daddy, equally flustered, would prepare to leave, and the inevitable debate would begin. Whose fault was it this time? Certainly not the poor girl’s, overworked at college! Maybe Badi Mummy packed the tiffin too late. Or perhaps she forgot to place it by my bag. Regardless, the day’s mission was clear: Daddy had to deliver the tiffin before noon.

    My college was a mere 5 kilometers away, but the journey felt monumental. It required walking half a kilometer to the bus stop under the relentless Ahmedabad sun, navigating two bus transfers, and finally completing another short walk. On a good day, it took an hour. On most days, plagued by the unpredictable bus service of the 90s—scarce, overcrowded, and unpredictable—it took closer to two. Yet, Daddy never complained. It was what it was.

    Daddy wasn’t just my father’s elder brother; he was the patriarch of our family and a larger-than-life figure. His laughter could fill a room, his smile could warm the coldest heart, and his appetite for good food and company was boundless. Everyone adored him. He had a way of making you feel seen and cherished, even when he was the cause of your teenage mortification.

    When Daddy arrived at my college, tiffin in hand, he waited patiently until the first break. Standing outside the classroom, he’d wave and smile at anyone who met his gaze, completely unbothered by the curious stares. As soon as the break began, I’d rush to him, desperate to minimize the interaction. But Daddy had his own rhythm, and he wasn’t in a hurry.

    He greeted my friends like they were his own. Priyamwada, he’d observe, looked undernourished and needed more home-cooked meals. Juhi, with her infectious laughter, was complimented on her charm. Jay and Jaladhi were reminded they hadn’t visited in too long. Bijal was advised to leave that dreadful hostel where she was obviously being neglected. Daddy’s warmth was magnetic, his chatter endless. It was only after multiple promises to eat on time that I’d manage to coax him out of the campus. Watching him leave, his long, sing-song strides radiating satisfaction, I couldn’t help but smile. Daddy had done his job, and he had done it well.

    How does one find such happiness in the most mundane of tasks? It came effortlessly to Daddy. He taught us to live in the moment. He was easily content with life. He lived simply, and found great joy in whatever he accomplished. A swim, a walk, a drink, a meal, a phone call, a good night’s sleep… he made through ups and downs in life being the happiest man in the room.

    And so, we will remember Daddy always as the man who lit up the room, whose eyes twinkled when he spotted you, who laughed the loudest, and just who made the most of the moment. The man who brought joy for lunch to a forgetful girl.

    Bhavna

    May 2021

  • self love

    (गुलजार साहब के नाम)

    आज self love की सारी हदें पार कर दी,
    आज मैंने अपनी नजर आप उतार ली।

    अपने बालों की चमकती चांदी,
    अपनी आंखो की सुर्ख सी लकीरें,
    सबसे साथ गहरी दोस्ती स्वीकार ली।
    आज मैंने अपनी नजर आप उतार ली।

    बच्चे सुनेंगे तो बस यही कहेंगे,
    पचास की होने से पहले ही शायद
    हमारी मम्मी है कुछ सठिया ली।
    आज उसने अपनी नजर आप उतार ली।

    क्या बन आई मन में क्या जाने,
    कस के एक मुट्ठी नमक के सहारे,
    मैने फिर से जिंदा होने की कसम खा ली।
    आज मैंने अपनी नजर आप उतार ली।

    वैसे गमगीन नही,
    बहुत खुश हूं मैं।
    बस अपने आप से खफा रहती हूं।
    गजब की बात देखिए,
    मैने अंधविश्वास से आज
    खुद पर विश्वास करने की इजाज़त मांग ली।
    आज मैंने अपनी नजर आप उतार ली।

    ।भावना।
    3 Nov 2023